Sharing is Caring...

I have debated sharing this. Mostly because I don't want to be a crying wack-a-doo for the rest of my life, but life is about sharing the journey right? We aren't supposed to go it alone, we need each other. That is what life is all about. I have been listening to a few talks by Elder Holland over and over and over and they have really helped me during the last few months and especially last week. He says that God wants us to be strong as well as good. We can't control everything and those moments are for our growth. I know God wants me to be strong.

Last Monday night I found out I was pregnant. Tuesday morning it was confirmed again. I got my doctors appointment set for Friday after work and I had lost the baby by Thursday. Luckily my mom came up Thursday night. Jason had gone hunting Thursday morning. The doctor sent me to the hospital to get blood work done and to make sure it wasn't ectopic. I ended up getting sonograms and poked and prodded only to be told what I already knew. I had lost the baby very early on. As heart breaking and horrible this has been I am very lucky. I am very blessed that I lost it so early. I can't imagine loosing a baby further along. I don't know how I would handle that. I am also blessed because now it appears that there is a possibility of me actually getting pregnant, and as much as I had hoped it would stick I do know the Lord is looking out for me and eventually I am going to be blessed. Jason came home from his hunt early, Friday night late, I am very blessed to have such a loving and supportive husband.

Jason gave me a blessing last night. I was told I would have a family soon, that the Lord wants me to be strong and that I need to focus on my blessings. I had already restarted a gratitude journal, I was already on the right track. The key is going to be staying positive and hopeful while I wait. I am not sure how my family is coming but I am glad they are.

Rather than retreat and try to pretend this painful event didn't happen I come to you asking for your help. Please remember us in your prayers. We appreciate them and feel them help us. Also, my family is going to have a special fast for us on Sunday, if you would like to join us I would be very grateful. I am sorry I haven't been answering my phone much lately, I am getting better. It's just been hard to talk to people. I hope you will forgive me. :)

Thank you all for your love and support it means so very much. I love you all!

"Hope is critical to both faith and charity. When disobedience, disappointment, and procrastination erode faith, hope is there to uphold our faith. When frustration and impatience challenge charity, hope braces our resolve and urges us to care for our fellowmen even without expectation of reward. The brighter our hope, the greater our faith. The stronger our hope, the purer our charity."
--Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Infinite Power of Hope", Ensign, Nov 2008, 21–24